However, as much control as I have in my own life, I can't control the fact that I've become piqued that the men I've met in their 30s are not men. Its been six months of dating and consistently amateur hour. Think I'm being a little harsh here? Ask my sister Blaire or my best friends Whitney and Lauren to confirm the below.
I was in the emergency room on October 9th, which also happened to be my 35th birthday. A guy I was seeing decided that it also just happened to be a good time to cut things off via text message. What a sight that must have been for my parents to watch me throbbing in pain while I explained the "this just isn't working for me" text. Truth be told, I really wasn't disappointed that he had ended it, I was way more furious that he had the audacity to do it on my birthday!
So where have all the real men gone? What happened to the good old fashion traits my father taught my brother such as courtesy and respect? Whether it's bailing on a date due to a "hangover" or completely ghosting a lady (all of which I've experienced over the past six months), I must wonder if we women have accepted this childish behavior (I never will as long as I'm sans dementia ) or in the age of "dating apps," men feel neither inclined nor motivated to be a man.
Maybe 'The Atlantic' was right in asking, “What if everyone who was going to find a happy relationship on a dating app already did? Maybe everyone who’s on Hinge/Bumble/Tinder now are like the last people at the party trying to go home with someone.”
Or perhaps these guys are just weaker as people. The mid-30s man who has "Peter Pan syndrome," never leaves adolescence or his playboy ways behind. Perhaps the hook up culture has replaced chivalry and what I am seeing isn't a different expression of masculinity adapting to today's norms - what I'm seeing is NO MASCULINITY at all.
As evident from being a #girlboss, I don't need a man but I'm totally ready for a partnership with a real one. One like my Dad Stan the Man, Uncles Charlie and Ave, Brother Vincent and Papa Raymond, all of whom open doors, make sure to arrive at a function on-time, pick up the phone to confirm plans and whose actions and words are in tandem.
Many of my friends think it's Seattle men vs. men in general. Our city has a reputation of passive aggressiveness (Google the 'Seattle Freeze') which at times collides with my New York, strong blunt Jewish 'tude. However, as Amazon imports thousands of new prospects, I'm less inclined to use that as an excuse.
What keeps me going is laughter as I humor myself over the trials and tribulations of dating. When I do meet a man who values my time and knows how to treat a lady, I'll be updating this post with a disclaimer stating, "Jessica is in a fully functional committed relationship with a real man. Ladies, proceed at your own risk."